Henry VIII – Who was He for Real?

My latest novel, Tea with Henry (release date: late September 2015) , is a labor of love. I say this because Henry VIII is one of the most, if not the most reviled and least understood monarchs of all time. What I cannot understand is why he committed some of the more heinous acts that characterized his reign. After all he sent more individuals to their death than any other monarch in history.

I explore who he really was in Tea with Henry. Let’s be honest. If you love Tudor history, you watched the HBO series, The Tudors. It’s okay, I did, too, although I marveled at the radically-inaccurate portrayal of the monarch’s appearance, among other things. It’s fair to say, however, they got the attitude correct.

Let’s start with a basic fact: his height. People think that many actors are tall, especially the men. Not so. Anyone who works in “the business” will tell you even some sets are altered to make the leading man appear larger than life, literally. Likewise, in history, people assume those who lived further in the past must have been super tiny. Maybe not Lilliputian, but somewhere between dwarf and petite.

Reality check: Henry VIII was 6’2″ – that’s six-foot-two-inches tall. Not too shabby, eh? Being five-foot-ten (5’10”) myself, I like that differential. He would tower over me. So, all you erstwhile readers of Tudor love stories, now you know Henry was closer in height to Liam Neeson and Chris Hemsworth (Thor). In his day, he was a hot property and it wasn’t just about the money.

Hair color? Not almost black as portrayed in the Tudors. Nope Henry sported reddish blond locks. The “official” portraits were sort of like P.R. shots celebrities have done today. Airbrushed and fixed to hide flaws and emphasize, well, you know. Anyway, as is the case today to a degree, red hair was viewed as a weakness of spirit. Elizabeth I changed all of that, but Henry’s portraits were altered to suit the public’s idea of what a king should look like. Bizarre, isn’t it?

Eye color? Hmmm…trickier than you might imagine. Faded oil paintings; fanciful imaginings in oil paintings…I am guessing here since I have yet to locate an actual written description by his contemporaries…blue-grey. That one’s still up for grabs.

Was he always huge? When Henry VIII died, he weighed almost or a little over 400 pounds. When he was young, and into his 40s, however, he was a Studley Do Right to be sure. The man played sports like none other: tennis, jousting, hunting, archery, javelin throwing (?!), riding, bowling. The king was a jock. In the end, however, he had a 51-inch waist. Ouch.

Like many politicians today who sport makeup to hide their flaws; dye their hair; pluck their eyebrows; maybe hide the fact they’re in a wheelchair, the monarchs had to maintain a strong appearance to keep the support of their people. After all, who would want to be ruled by someone whom the people perceived as anything short of fabulous? They don’t want it today (witness the harangue about Christie’s weight) and they didn’t want it then. Personally, I think that attitude is shallow and stupid but hey, that’s me. Not to mention that the Tudors’ actual entitlement to the throne of England will always be questionable. Henry was a player and an actor. He made himself look pretty even to the bitter end. Now that’s hubris to be sure.

It’s time to do a monumental myth busting on this man. Consider this a start.

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Write Historical Fiction? Keep Their Language to Yourself or Risk Losing Readers

I love a good, “Huzzah” blurted out by Niles or Frasier Crane any day. When writing a work of historical fiction, however, it is best to keep the quaint phrases, stereotypical exclamations (i.e. – forsooth), and other verbal faux pas out of the story. The reason: you want the average person to be able to read your writing and not have to either google a word or look it up in their Random House Dictionary or Chaucer, take your pick.

My preferred time period is medieval/renaissance. There were some strange sayings back then in any given romance language. For example:

“…assuring you that on my side the ennui of absence is already too much for me: and when I think of the increase of what I must needs suffer it would be well nigh unbearable for me were it not for the firm hope I have and as I cannot be with you in person, I am sending you the nearest possible thing to that, namely, my picture set in a bracelet, with the whole device which you already know. ”

Otherwise known as part of a letter that Henry VIII wrote to Anne Boleyn. I must needs tell thee, then, that English thusly spake is not very comprehensible to the modern reader and ennui (aka boredom/melancholy) shall hastily ensue. Argh.

See what I mean? This is a brief but important matter to take to heart. We in America do tend to race about writing things that we fancy to be “English.” Most times, it leads to tedious prose that your prospective readers will NOT want to slog through in volume 2. They might even ban volume 1 permanently from their e-readers. That’s never good news for you, the aspiring author.

We all realize that historical pieces must be believable, but sometimes-no, more often than not- the historical detail, including language, enhances the character but does not define the character.

In both my War of the Roses series and Tea with Henry (set in middle Tudor England), I did have to use period-specific language to describe, say, the bill men who charged into battle first. There is no other way to say it. They wore armor with specific names to the pieces such as sallets and vambraces. But I swear you will never EVER read, “must needs” in any of the 3 volumes.

Did it irk me to lose the syntax and beauty to the spoken language? Sure, but I would rather sacrifice that than have a modern reader message me that my writing sucks because he or she can’t understand what I’m saying. Take it to heart because it would be a shame to sacrifice readers for 100% historical accuracy in everything.

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